I have developed a drinking problem. Fortunately for everyone involved, this time it involves tea, not booze.
Like a lot of people in recovery, I’m establishing new habits. My previous habit was pouring large quantities of wine down my gullet on a nightly basis. Once I decided it was wine-thirty, the wine would be a-flowing until I went out, ran out, or passed out.
Now I pour large quantities of tea down my throat instead, although it’s still coffee in the morning for me. Forget the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup…it’s get that effing Folgers in my cup or I’ll cut you. Okay, I’m kidding – I would never drink Folgers.
After the base level of caffeine required for complex thought has been ingested (and by complex thought, I mean that I can now competently operate a toaster), I start drinking tea. And yes – I know that tea also contains caffeine, but for some reason, unlike coffee, it doesn’t transform me into a crazed 1980’s aerobics instructor when I have too much.
English Breakfast, Chamomile, Chai, Jasmine, Matcha, Oolong – I am becoming quite a connoisseur of the stuff. When I stopped drinking booze, I think my husband was rather excited thinking about how much money we would save on wine and spirits. Little did he know I would become enamored right away with some really high end stuff. The Dom Perignons of tea. Like this shit here:
My husband’s cousin lives in Michigan near the Light of Day Organics tea farm that sells this amazingly fragrant and delicious tea, and she told me I had to visit. So I blame her. She has her own sizeable stash. Oh yeah…we had some crazy times during those earl grey benders. But eventually the party had to end – so I bought some herb of my own to take home with me. 300 bucks later and I had a good starter set.
Thank God I can order it online to sustain my habit, because I’m a full blown teaker now.
Another brand of tea I’ve come to love is the Fairmont’s tea. Yes, the Fairmont Hotel chain develops their own teas…who knew? With names like Organic Joie de Provence ($32.95), Reserve Dream Doves Silver Needle ($49), and Reserve Madame Butterfly Loose Leaf ($98), who could resist? Certainly not me – being the high-maintenance fancy pants that I am. But it would have been better for the wallet to get hooked on the Motel 6 brand. Then again, they probably don’t have their own reserve brand of tea, just good ol’ Lipton.
I’ve always had this idea that tea was more highbrow than coffee. In order to drink it proficiently, I imagined I’d have to be sipping it out of a china tea cup and saucer, sitting in some special tea-drinking parlor, awaiting my gentleman callers while doing needlepoint on the lap of my ridiculously scratchy and uncomfortable crinoline skirt. Apparently I’ve read too many Jane Austen novels.
Turns out, none of that pomp and circumstance is required. I even order tea when I go to Starbucks now. Some would say that Starbucks is the McDonalds of coffee and tea – but it’s still pretty darn good. My drink of choice is called a London Fog – it’s not even on the menu. It’s a secret tea society order that I know about because I’m now a card-carrying member. I tried it the first time because I liked the name. London Fog. Like I should be solving Sherlock Holmes’ style mysteries whilst drinking it.
I will actually be in London next month. London is the Mecca of tea, so I’m pretty sure I will be subjecting my husband to high tea with dainty cucumber sandwiches and miniature scones, hosted tea tastings, and various tea shops that sell tea accessories like cozies, infusers, timers and caddies.
I won’t blame him if he would rather hang out in Winston Churchill’s war rooms, but I’m pretty sure he’ll agree to accompany me . Why? Because he always gets lucky when I get my drink on.
#lightofdayorganics #misshavishams #tea #teaker #recovery #alcoholism #addiction #janeausten